Oh wow

So, it's been on my 'To Do' list for a while...a visit to the college academic advisor. The last time I went (about a year ago) was the first time I'd ever been. I received surprising news that, though I wasn't done yet, I was sure a lot closer than I thought I was! Today, I visited the advisor again. I received the SAME TYPE OF NEWS. So, no, I'm not done with SLCC yet...but I am a LOT closer than I thought I was. Today, my response was both happy and annoyed. Happy because I am just 2 classes away from an A.S 2-year degree (yeah - I know, I'm very excited...). Annoyed at myself because of POOR PLANNING. I have 2 classes left??? That doesn't equal a full-time college semester. That barely equals a half-time college semester!! Decisions, decisions...

My quarter life crisis

I remember reading somewhere that instead of mid-life crises, people are now experiencing quarter-life crises. Well, I'm there baby! And let's just say I hope that, just because it's a quarter (a.k.a 1/4, or "one of four") life crisis, doesn't mean it will happen four times.



Recently I decided to take my life as I know it and, basically, throw it off a cliff and start over again. I quit my full-time job after a seven-year stint and I decided to go back to school full-time. An admirable goal (I know, I know) - but I'll be darned if it isn't tough already. Although, I will admit that, so far, there has been a silver lining of hope and excitement. It just so happens that some days it's buried far, far underneath a layer of nervousness and anxiety. These too will pass...once I find a job.



My plan is to work part-time while attending classes. Ideally, looking for a serving and/or bartending position. I know, I've never worked in any field like that before. But I am a hard worker and a fast learner, right? Not to mention, I'll be at the do-or-die level, so I'll make myself good. Anyhow, today, I started hoofing it to find someone who might hire me.



All in all, it was a surprisingly eye opening experience for me. For one, I was completely shocked by the responses I got. At bars/pubs/etc., people were friendly and open. Even if they were busy, they took the time to let me fill out an application and were usually pretty cool about it. At restaurants, the people had a bitter edge to them. The people at restaurants were more than happy to tell me any of the following:

1. We're not hiring right now.


2. Thanks, but we only accept people with serving experience.


3. Uh, I guess you can leave your resume?

Any one of these things (or any combination...) was basically a conversation stopper. If the discussion was to continue, it was up to me to make it happen. And I did end up leaving at least a resume at every place. But, I couldn't promise that they didn't go straight into the trash.

It's not that I am taking issue with the fact that people are not hiring right now. I got the same responses almost everywhere. I am frustrated with the underlying attitude. So, surprisingly, I felt much more comfortable in the bars - the places I thought would intimidate me!

It felt like I went to about 100 places today. I just did the instant replay in my head and, turns out, I went to nine. Let's not forget that this was my first day out and about too. Sure, I've done a few online applications...but I am more optimistic about the applications I've submitted in person. Interruption to say that for anyone who has been job-hunting for longer than, oh, 24 hours, you have my eternal admiration! I think that in the past couple of days, I've applied for more jobs than I have in my entire life.

I am praying, keeping my fingers crossed, and performing mythical spells every night before bedtime that I won't have to do this for a huge length of time. But, even my so-so knowledge of the world today makes me set my expectations fairly low. That's why I started looking early.

As a reward, I treated myself to a (I mean...two...) cupcake on the way home. Does it help that they are MINI cupcakes? I think the things are delicious. Today was no exception. I sampled some Lemon Pie and Pretty-in-Pink. They were both yummy, but my favorite was Lemon Pie. It is now in the #1 spot for cupcake flavors. I still can't wait to try Margarita though. It's a Tuesday special, so it takes a bit more planning than my usual cupcake impulsivity. The cupcakes were an excellent way to end a not too exciting day though.

*Note - just read on the Mini-Cupcake website that they have a Carrie Cosmo cupcake: "Back by popular demand, the Carrie Cosmo! We will no longer have the carrot cake on Fridays, we will have our most popular cocktail cupcake. The Carrie Cosmo is a cranberry cupcake soaked in cranberry juice and vodka, frosted with lime frosting topped with a fresh cranberry." OH MY. I will have to make it a point to hit this place on Tuesday and now on Friday TOO!

Emoting

I just realized something. My emotions of frustration and anger are a little like tar. This is a fairly unfortunate realization given the fact that lately I've driven myself to frustration or anger more often than normal. When you get right down to it, I might as well be paving a road with all this tar I'm producing.

Who remembers that story about Brer Rabbit & the Tar Baby?? Maybe it's just me. We read the Uncle Remus stories about Brer Rabbit, Brer Fox and Brer Bear a lot when I was younger. The story of Brer Rabbit & the Tar Baby illustrates best what I mean about my frustration being a lot like tar. In a nutshell, Brer Fox and Brer Bear make a Tar Baby (doll made of tar) in order to trick Brer Rabbit. Cleverly enough, their trick works out just like they planned. Brer Rabbit greets the Tar Baby. After trying and trying without getting a response, Brer Rabbit socks the Tar Baby in the face. Being that this particular Tar Baby is made of...oh...tar, Brer Rabbit gets stuck. And the harder he fights it, the more stuck he gets.

And that's really what I mean when I say my frustration is like tar. It seems like whenever a small thing happens to frustrate me (which happens far too regularly for my liking), I fight it and fight it and end up getting myself more involved and more frustrated than I should be.

I've spent the last few months trying to come up with some better solutions. I'm pretty close to researching the "Woo-zah" method, as seen in Bad Boys II. In fact, I've made a small step in that direction by pulling on my earlobes whenever I get frustrated. Pretty soon, I'll belong in National Geographic, with earlobes down to my ribcage.

This post doesn't really have a point - except that I'm wondering if this might be a good outlet for my frustration. Maybe in writing about my personal Tar Baby, it will cease to be! Wouldn't that be AWESOME? In the meantime, I am pulling on my earlobes and playing racquetball.

**Author's note: I do know that it's Friday. I also know it's not very nice for me to post such a downer blog at the beginning of a weekend. I figure I might as well do this blog as a detox of sorts so I can start my weekend off nicely. I promise to complete the weekend with a much more uplifting and probably lighter weight blog. Please come back and visit!!

AMC hates the singles

I spent last night, cuddled up on the couch watching End of Days on American Movie Channel (AMC...) last night. I'd like to take this moment to point out how un-hermit like this was. I was housesitting at the time. So, I was cuddled up on someone else's couch and not my own. Yes, I was watching the movie alone (becuase I really don't know anyone other than myself who would watch End of Days with commercials).

Anyhow, I digress. Before I figured out that you can pause, rewind and fast-forward through afore-mentioned commercials, I ended up watching some (read: A LOT OF COMMERCIALS). I saw a few (far too many) for Chantix, the quit-smoking-drug. Some more for Advair, the anti-asthma drug. Tylenol (ah, my good friend lately) commercials were fairly prevalent. So, we obviously LIKE DRUGS. But, count all of the drug commercials combined and they don't equal the number of crappy eHarmony commercials I saw!!

eHarmony is tricky and features all these happy couples that were matched, courtesy of eHarmony's services. So, one sits and watches these commercials. Then, a certain, single lady might find herself building a new-age fairy tale in her brain. The story goes a little like this:

Girl was watching TV all by herself (cue scenes from Bridget Jones' Diary). Girl sees happy couple made during a movie. Then the movie changes to Online Dating Service commercial and more happy couples abound. Girl is so taken in by all these happy couples! She dreams of one day, building herself an Online Dating Profile and meeting Prince Charming. Girl spends at least a week building the perfect Online Dating Profile. She debates over how to describe herself. She agonizes over how to describe her Prince Charming. Yet, after all her hard work, she finally produces the perfect Online Dating Profile. Filled with hope and snapshots of Prince Charming, Girl pays her Online Dating Service fee and posts her perfect Online Dating Profile. Immediately, her Online Dating Inbox is full of romantic notes from a host of prospective suitors. Upon reading profiles, she instantly identifies HER Prince Charming! They agree to meet for coffee, a no-pressure first date. Their coffee date stretches into a movie, followed by dinner. The Perfect Couple is born!

Allow me to insert a few items into this fairy tale, purely for the sake of accuracy. One, did you know that it literally takes FOREVER to build your profile for these dating web sites? I have tried the eHarmony profile TWICE. The first time, I got bored not even halfway through. The second time, I was astounded by the amount of money they wanted to charge me. I could go buy myself an escort for that price. Maybe that solution doesn't provide a Happy Ever After, but so far, neither has my online dating experience. At least with an escort, your results are 99% GUARANTEED.

During my last foray into the online dating world, I finally made a commitment to the process. As I've mentioned, I've tried this online dating thing a few times and haven't really had any luck. But this last time, I started to wonder if maybe I wasn't doing enough to make this work. So, I paid my money (not the highway robbery of eHarmony...) and made the perfect profile (which still took me forever).

For about a week after my commitment, I signed on every day. I checked my email and communicated with a few guys. Call me picky (everyone else does...) but nothing really struck me. Actually, let me rephrase. Quite a few things struck me. For example, the guy who "divorced me before we ever got married" (yeah - NOT KIDDING). Or another example, a guy who invited me to a friend's wedding as a first date. Honestly folks, these are completely true. After a few of these wondrous chats, my enthusiasm waned. It waned until the point where I wasn't getting online at all. So, basically, I'd wasted my money. It thrills me to admit that. I really feel pretty free now. Imagine my free feeling when I say that I wasted not one charge but two!? Because, I'd forgotten that they automatically charge you to renew unless you specifically cancel your account. I really hate that feature with any 'membership' type purchase.

Do you have to do as much work to find a date as you do to earn your college degree? Honestly, had I been taking classes during the summer semester, I think my coursework would have suffered in the face of trying to find a date! I mean, the dating world is full of enough bad experiences - even when you're talking about the traditional boy-meets-girl situation. Do you have to add an SAT test (I mean PROFILE) to the process? Not to mention, daily homework in the form of email back and forth to at least ten different people? I probably should have really shown my commitment. I mean, I could have created index cards to try and remember who each guy was and what we had said to one another. But, the conversations generally all start the same. Sometimes, you get an original (like...divorce before marriage...). And finally, I'm not really the type of girl who gets any spark from an email chat. So, if I was really dedicated, I would have made coffee dates with each and every one of these gentlemen. Talk about a lot of work! Not only would my college coursework have suffered, but I'd probably have to cut back on hours at work as well.

Wow. I didn't really mean my rant to be quite so, um, ranty. But, if I'm saying that I'm unhappy with dating, then I am REALLY UNHAPPY with online dating. I know there are people who have made a success from their online dating experience (Yep, I really do know people in this category). And obviously, these people have been blessed with a magical quality that I'm lacking. Maybe I wasn't ecstatic about watching Arnold duke it out with the devil, on commercial TV, by myself. But it sure was better than trying to date online!!

TV is damaging my brain

Let me start by acknowledging the fact that my brain is pretty fertile ground for damage at this time. So, when I watch TV shows that take place in exciting cities or movies with Cinderella-story plotlines, it's a safe bet that I will be enchanted and long to adopt a new life.

For example... Recently, I started watching the show Las Vegas. This is an older show. It is 100% escapist TV, which I basically require for any TV show I watch. So, I think this show is fun and appealing. I get to indulge all my men fantasies, as this show is packed to the gills with guys I find attractive. And then, as I'm into my 4th episode for the night, I start to think... Hey, what if I moved to Las Vegas. I bet my life would be exactly like this show. This is where the danger starts.

Dangerous why, you wonder? Well, my guess is that if you found someone in Las Vegas working in any bigtime casino job, they'd probably have a fault or two with the show - not the least of which being that every episode has a happy ending. I'm fairly certain that this isn't so commonplace in real-life Las Vegas. Especially when you start adding hit men, strippers and thieves to the mix. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Anyway, I'd just like to point out that I'm having a really hard time not picking up and moving South.

Back To School, Back To School

By the way, the title of this blog ABSOLUTELY MUST be sung in the Billy Madison voice...

It’s Back To School time. This probably isn’t too much of announcement to most of you. If you’ve set foot in a Target or Wal-mart lately, then you were probably blasted with all sorts of Back To School advertising, sales and stuff! When I walk through aisles of new backpacks and lunch boxes, I can’t help but catch a little bit of the Back To School fever.

When I was younger, say junior high school age, I distinctly remember being really excited to start school in the fall. Starting school, for me, meant new school clothes and the possibility of new friends or a new adventure. I particularly remember starting the 7th grade. I moved to a new school so I was faced with the prospect of finding new friends or surviving junior high alone. I started school with the idea of slightly reinventing myself. My Back To School wardrobe that year was a little more mature and a little bit different than anything I’d ever picked before – or, at least, I thought so. I loaded up on knee-high socks that year. At the time, I thought I was ROCKING. I have since learned that knee-high socks in Utah in August generally amount to sweaty torture. In addition to all my wardrobe dilemmas, I was tackling all the nuances of junior high school that all 7th graders face. For example, picking out SEVEN classes. From those classes, I had a seemingly huge variety from which to choose – languages, crafts, arts, drama, etc. So, long story short – the prospect of making all these decisions was exciting to me and that made starting school exciting.

My junior high years are long behind me now. But, school has been at least a small portion of a lot of those years since. School will probably continue to be a part of my life for many years to come – considering the fact that it takes me four times longer to finish anything than other “normal” people. But, I digress. My point is that, even though I’m kind of “old hat” at the school game now, I am still surprisingly excited to start classes here soon. Call me crazy. In fact, in a week or two, I’ll look at this post and I’ll be calling myself crazy. At that time, I expect to be bogged down with homework and really dreading going to my Philosophy class once a week… Crazy probably won’t begin to describe my brain at that time or any time between September and December. However, right now, I am still excited about starting school.

I find myself wondering why. I mean, I no longer get myself a Back To School wardrobe (although maybe I should – what a good excuse to buy new clothes!). I haven’t really established any wonderful, long-lasting friendships as a result of school in quite a few years. Anymore, school is just another thing for me to stuff in my schedule and an AWESOME opportunity to spend a lot of money! Yet I’m excited anyway and I still don’t know why…

I CAN DO IT

I had an awesome running weekend. For one, I did it two days in a row. Let me tell you that if you know of my love/hate relationship with running, you'd see why I'd feel the need to brag. For two, I pushed myself farther than I ever have! I arrived home from both runs feeling heartily accomplished.

And this feeling was in no way affected by the Superheroes running at Liberty Park! Props to these folks. I swear, the ladies and gentlemen who were cruising right past me were taking a break from their regular day-to-day activities, to include saving the world. The Flash is a regular - he's that guy whom I see twice during my one loop around the park. Wonder Woman also makes frequent appearances. She's the one who comes up from behind me and motors on by, as if winged. And let's not forget Superman! He's the one who rescues me halfway around and carries me home... Oh wait, I made that one up. No one but me carries me home. And that is perfectly fine.

Honestly, what a freaking inspiration! I mean, it doesn't really make me run any faster. I wave from the cheap seats as these mega-athletes go flying by me (and then again when they've gone home, showered, changed and are driving to dinner...) But, it does make me think twice the next time I'm close to chickening out.

Personal Enhancement

And not that kind...

No, this is the process where I try to grow as a person. I would describe myself as an avid reader. However, I do read a bunch of crap - to be bluntly honest. Not that I don't love my books all the same. My favorites are murder mysteries, romances and, most especially, when the two are combined! So, not surprisingly, my favorite authors tend to include Nora Roberts (also JD Robb), Heather Graham, Linda Howard, Judith McNaught, Patricia Cornwell...you get the picture. I appreciate all of these books. They're an excellent escape for me. 99% of the time, I can dive right in and read cover to cover. A blizzard outside? No way! But I think anyone who knows anything about these novels knows that they aren't really the cream of the literary crop. So, as much as I love my stories, I try to branch out and read something new.

Approximately one out of every ten books, I move toward a different genre. This has proven to be a great formula for me. It keeps my regular stories fresh and it lets me experience other types of writing. Sources for finding such reads are few and far between, but I seem to manage anyhow. My latest find came from the Salt Lake County Library staff picks. I've used this list before and found it helpful. It's not updated frequently though, so I can only use it every so often. This time, I was drawn to a novel titled The Crying Tree, by Naseem Rakha. I read only the first sentence or two of the synopsis and found myself intrigued. Usually, I can tell just that quickly. I checked out a copy from my local library (a wonderful location...but more about that some other time).

Like I haven't been able to do in a while, I dove right into this book. The best description I can think of is heart-wrenching. The story is really too complex for a synopsis - especially by someone so limited as myself - but here I go... The story follows a close-knit family of four, originally from a small town in Illinois. Their story begins with a move that uproots the family from everything they've ever known and brings them to yet another small town in Oregon. When tragic events befall the family, the reader becomes involved in the breakdown of the family. Rakha keeps the reader involved in this horribly sensitive story easily, by moving seamlessly throughout time - back and forth, as if you yourself are living day to day, struck by horrible memories.

My own life has been somewhat sheltered from death and tragedy. Though what I have experienced echoed many of the sentiments that Rakha wove throughout her tale. The desperation, emptiness and anger that emote throughout the story are described so well that you might think you were feeling these things yourself. Then, when any character experiences personal growth or happiness, the reader can't help but to be buoyed by these feelings - however transient.

Needless to say, this book impressed me. I was astounded by Rakha's ability to approach such sensitive subject matter. The author's intelligence and sensitivity are evident in the way she handcrafted her characters and built their story. Though I'd consider the novel a difficult read and not to be undertaken lightly, I'd recommend it to all.

Pain is beauty!

I have finally realized that brains will get you nowhere. It's all about good looks, ladies (and any gentlemen who might be interested). Should I share how I came to the realization? OKAY!

I added a fun component to my workout routine last night. Dance Body Beautiful, the workout DVD by Dancing with the Stars alum Lisa Rinna. And boy, I could learn to love looking like that lady! So, I started the DVD as soon as I got home and turned into a DANCING FOOL. I was shaking and sweating and having a wonderful time! Come 30 minutes into the session, my feet started to hurt. It was akin to someone holding the balls of my feet to a bonfire. Seriously. I tried to move so that my dance steps took place on the heavenly cool of my tile, but I still had to wander onto the carpet. Every time my feet touched the carpet, it was like walking on hot coals. Why would such a tragic event befall me? I was doing my best to shake my bootie and keeping in shape. Look at the good things I was doing for my body!!

I WASN'T WEARING SHOES. After so many pivots and sashays across the carpet, I had basically rubbed my feet raw. Walking is a bit of a chore today. I have blisters the size of quarters on the balls of my feet.

I would like to ask why they didn't post the instruction: "Please wear shoes while using this workout video." But I won't. I despise when people don't use their common sense and put their thinking caps on. I sure won't stoop to that level myself. But, I obviously demonstrated the size of my brain throughout this whole debacle. It's a good thing that I really enjoyed Dance Body Beautiful. At least I'll still have my beauty...just ignore the soles of my feet.

Dating and all its quirkiness

Blind dating, fix ups... Their very nature dooms them for failure. Allow me to present:

The (abridged) History of the Blind Date - Jesse's Version

The cavelady and her cavehusband had two cave friends that they decided might like one another. After all, these cave friends were the last cave people who hadn't found someone. So, actually, these cave friends might be forced to like one another or die alone...because there was no one left to choose. So, this cave group gathered for a cave dinner (which involved precariously raw meat, some berries and a raging bonfire) and the cave group made a lot of small talk. Who knows exactly what topics arose? My guess is that politics or religion somehow managed to nose their way into the conversation. History has taught us that these two items are dating taboo...definitely not that ligher fare conversation that you strive for on a first date. Anyhow, I digress... I imagine that politics and/or religion reared their ugly heads. And somehow, the nice dinner turned into a huge mess. The two cave friends decided to become cave not-friends and decided they'd rather be alone forever than to choose one another.

And that's why the blind date is called the Blind Date. Had this first blind date been an enormous success, people would have called it something else...like the Amazing Date. People would be coming for miles and miles to try Amazing Dates. Instead, these first two co-conspirators decided to be somewhat humane and call it the Blind Date. The other option was to call it the Really Uncomfortable (Bad) Date. But, that's an awfully long name for a date...right?? The fix up was slang that obviously came later. The fix up doesn't imply anything that is more amazing than the blind date either - it just masks things a bit better. Really, the fix up says "Something is broken and someone should fix it!"

This is not to say that all blind dates or fixups are inevitably horrible. They're not. I've been on a few. My experience is, sadly enough, that more of them are closer to the Really Uncomfortable (Bad) Date than they are to the Amazing Date. But, occassionally, you run into the Blind Date where you manage to achieve the top goal...or at least, it's my top goal.

Writer's note: I will choose hockey for my next metaphor because it has the potential to be violent and it's always entertaining or interestesting to someone - both qualities to be found in every blind date.

We start this blind date as opposing teams on opposite ends of the ice rink. We skate throughout the game, trying to score goals...goals such as:

• Funny joke! Score 1
• Witty / sarcastic comeback! Score 1
• No spilling! Score 2 (this is really important and generally unattainable to me)

When the game is finally over, we tally up the scores. You might possibly end up with a zero on one or both sides. This means that both teams will run to the locker rooms and tell their friends stories about the Really Uncomfortable (Bad) Date. Or, you end up with a few points on both sides. This means that, at the close of the game, each of your Awkwardness will walk up to center ice, shake hands and say

• Mentally / To Themselves: "Whew, glad that's over!"
• Out Loud: "Good game! Can I call you sometime?"

If you want something done right...

Yeah - you better @&*%mailto:&*%^!*@#$^&#@ do it yourself! I've had two, distinct experiences in the past few days. Now that I'm on the other side, I can look back, wiser and more educated. However, while in the trenches, I was wondering where the other side was...was there even an other side?

Food. It's a pretty big deal for me - if you haven't noticed so far. I like to make it and, for the most part, I like to eat it too! And, from time to time, I am struck by crippling craving. It's a madness - just like the need to go shoot cats...I mean... These cravings strike at really the most inconvenient times. I mean, when I'm sitting on the couch, watching TV, the last thing I want to do is go hunt down my food! And, I NEVER crave something that I have in the house! Of course not. That would be far too easy. These cravings are what have led me down a monstrous path the past few days. These two harrowing incidents have left me scarred, laying on the Foodie Battlefield...

Chinese food. Alas, it's a failing of mine. I really can't ever turn it down. And, it seems when I've gone too long without it, the taste for it rears its ugly head. A time or two, I might be known to neglect a craving, promising myself that I'll just get it tomorrow. Well folks, procrastination is NO ONE'S friend! By the time I've procrastinated so much that my dreams are in Chinese characters and I'm giving birth to sesame chicken, I can see that there might be a problem. So, after the final straw broke (sorry - mixed up my cliches there), I finally dragged my pajama-clad, sorry bottom to the local grocery store to try to scrounge up some chow mein and sesame chicken (like manna from heaven, you know...) And, since I live in the COOLEST PLACE ON EARTH, every restaurant (which is a generous term, I realize, for the Chinese deli section at the grocery store) closes at 8 o'clock or some such craziness! Not to mention, the little boy working behind the counter let me foolishly and dangerously peruse the menu, contemplating whether I needed the 3-item-plate or, to hell with it, let's just get the Buddha Feast! After about 90 seconds of contemplation, aforementioned LITTLE COUNTER BOY informed me that they were closed. HELLO. I am at the GROCERY STORE CHINESE COUNTER; I am wearing mens' pajama bottoms, slippers and a giant hoodie; my knee looks like it was involved in a drive-by shooting (now a good time to mention that I am a K.L.U.T.Z??). What on earth posessed this boy to tell me I couldn't have my Chinese food? I CAN STILL SEE THE ACTUAL FOOD. How CLOSED ARE YOU?? If he expected me to be polite in return, then he had another thing coming... Now, past my Food Rage, I apologize to the little boy for being rude when all he did was tell me "No". I did end up getting my Chinese. Not that night...but the next. It was delicious and I ate it all. Then I licked the sauce from the inside of the takeout carton and then I ate that too.

Pizza. This is another dangerous one for me. The only thing in its favor is that I crave Chinese WAY more than I crave pizza. I have been known to turn down pizza. I mean, who wants just greasy delivery pizza all the time? Not I! I'm more of a gourmet pizza girl. In a pinch, I can grudglingly accept Papa John's. But, the entire time I'm eating it, I am hoping beyong hope that a slice of Ray's Pizza might turn up in the box. So, why not take things to the next level and make pizza? God inspired me by sending a pizza recipe in my Google reader feed this morning. And it was like love at first sight! Being that my pizza making experience would happen after a full workday, I would have to relinquish the crust to someone else's trusting hands. But, who hasn't walked through any grocery store and seen pizza crust all over the place? Yeah, NO ONE RAISED THEIR HANDS. How hard could it be? Pre-made pizza crust and grocery stores go together - just like graham crackers and peanut butter!! So, after work, I stopped at the grocery store. I collected a few extra vegetables for the pizza. And I walked around the ENTIRE STORE looking for pre-made pizza crust. "Boboli, where are you?" There are people at the grocery store who were looking at me curiously - not sure whether to ask if I needed help finding my dog or whether I needed a snack. Seriously, some aisles I visited multiple (meaning, in this situation, MORE THAN TWO) times!! I saw the freaking frozen pizza section about 100 times! All this time, my vision is graying from starvation and I feel like I no longer have the strength to push my cart...so heavy...must find pizza crust... I finally managed to find the world's most unhealthy pre-made pizza crust option. In the form of a can. Literally! When I popped open the can, the dough fell out in can form! I continued to walk around the grocery store, looking for the Boboli pizza crust I'd envisioned. At the very least, I wanted to compare nutritional facts to prove that the canned dough was probably 1 bazillion times more bad for you than the other. I'm already convinced that if I'd made it at home, it would have been tremendously healthier. Anyone who reads this and thinks that is a lie...you just go home. So, beaten down and HUNGRY, I dragged myself up to the checkstand, waited behind roughly the entire population of Salt Lake City, checked out my food and went home. My entire drive home, I was thinking to myself: "This pizza better be DAMN GOOD." And, I can say, now that I've eaten the creation - it was good! The canned dough was pretty tasty. I'm not sure why this surprises me because Pillsbury canned biscuits and I have had an on-off lovers relationship for years. I finally had to break it off because thosee Pillsbury cans expected way too much of me. EIGHT in a can?? My diet is carb-rich enough as it is... I occasionally dabble with the bad-boy of biscuits and buy those "Perfect Partners" ones. I'm obviously still not over those crazy biscuits. We had such good times. But, time's a wastin'...back to the story.

Now that I'm safely on the other side of these food crises, I can say that I've learned a valuable lesson. It's an oldie, but a goodie. If you want something done right, you better do it yourself. This is a bittersweet lesson for me. I am slowly, but surely, turning into a Hermit / Granola. This time next year, I might be braiding my never-shaved armpit hair and feeding my goats, who live outside in the parking lot. When that does happen, as it inevitably will, remember my happy days...my HOT shoe collection, etc. This way, you'll realize that, somewhere deep down inside, my inner-Carrie Bradshaw is buried, safe and sound.

I feel so domestic!

This weekend, I've done quite a few things.

I attended the Dowtown Alliance Farmer's Market.

This is something I've been wanting to do for quite a while, actually. Mom, Brook and I decided to spend our Saturday morning browsing. And let me tell you that thre are no words that could have prepared me! I'd heard that it was great, that you could find a danish the size of your head, that there were tons of vegetables. But, Not So Observant Me didn't realize the scope of this market! One, I've never actually realized how large Pioneer Park is... So, when the market covers over half the park, you've got to know it's huge. Two, I didn't know my Utah neighbors had such a hippie streak. All things said, it was amazing! However, I don't think that we were mentally prepared. There were literally hundreds of people. And they were all waiting in line for aforementioned danish. So, we skipped the prepared food altogether. But, I'm here to tell you that I now posess the largest tomatoes I've ever owned. And I completely understand why the rules are so stringent at the market for vendors...and I thank whomever prepared them, as a consumer.

I also made bread (what a SURPRISE) this morning. I attempted sourdough today. It's good, but it's not really sour...or at least, not what I would call sour. It is good bread, just not what I was expecting. I'd put off making it so that I could let my starter mature and get more sour...THANK GOODNESS. Had I made this bread last weekend, I can only imagine the level of not-sourness. And, the way things are going, I expect to have actually SOUR sourdough bread sometime in 2010!

Rain, Rain, Go Away

After a Friday full of sunshine and warmth, I think many Salt Lake City natives were desperate to get outside and soak up the sun! Rach and I definitely included ourselves in this number - since we've attempted to plan a couple of outdoor activities, only to be driven away by rain.

So, today - we made it our goal to attend Grill on the Hill. The BBQ event at Snowbird was a good excuse to get out and enjoy the sunshine. Our plan was also to sneak in a tram ride and a hike too. Unfortunately, once again, we were thwarted by Mother Nature. The rain started on the drive up the canyon and only got worse once we actually arrived. We had a delicious lunch and Gabe added a few more nice ladies to his fan club (of course!). We were advised not to ride the Tram (zero visibility) and hiking was obviously a dud.

The scenery was beautiful. The rain made for a very misty and enchanted day. The only thing that would have made it more enchanting would have been just a little surprise visit by Mr. Sun. We did however manage to discover a few items about Snowbird and we are already talking about returning - when the Utah weather actually remembers that it is SUMMER!!

Gabe's tolerance for Jess by herself only lasts for so long. This is him trying to convince Rach to come out of the bathroom. However, after she came out, we discovered that he was really interested in the actual bathroom.

Yes - Baked Goods are my Children

Uh-oh...I've gone WAY beyond Crazy Cat Lady now

That's Not My Name...and other hits!

My bread-baking extravanganza this weekend led me to wonder about the state of my food storage. I mean...I only have so much room in my regular size freezer. I'm asking myself that inevitable question: Is it time to buy a full-size freezer? I can't stock up at Costco like I really, really want to. I walk around that store and ask myself if I really need twelve pounds of butter. And you know what? I DO! But, I can't currently buy twelve pounds of butter because I don't have a good place to store it. I proposed this idea to a friend. She made a suggestion. Instantly, my freezer has become food storage / coffin!! What an excellent idea.

I wasn't actually going to SAY anything...but my freezer is for dead bodies. However, on the surface, I will be telling people it's so I can do long-haul shopping at Costco and buy things that will freeze and keep for many, many months. Plus, it's good to have something to put on top of the dead bodies, to act as a sort of camoflage. I've already got a list of dead bodies!

Potential Hit Grocery List

1. My landlord - removing any roadblock that I might have to getting a new puppy.
2. My postman (or woman) who is not picking up the mail when I mark it as "no longer at this address" and who shoves my mail to the back of the mailbox, so that it's so crumpled I can't read it.

The postman is in position #2 because I sent in a complaint to USPS and if the issue can be resolved that way, then I don't need to worry about killing them. Then, I had another thought. This is a sneakier sort of guerilla warfare, if you will.

I am going to wire my mailbox for sound. It will be similar to those new-fangled sound cards or novelty cookie jars. Whenever you open the mailbox, it will play a song! The song will be individually selected, to act as a little reminder for my post-person. The first song that came to mind is "That's Not My Name", by The Ting-Tings. Destiny's Child "Say May Name" is a close runner-up. But, I've decided to stick with "That's Not My Name" because I think it's much easier to get in the head. And, I'll end up with either of the following results:

• Post-Person will be so freaking annoyed by having The Ting-Ting's in his/her head all the time that they will OBEY ME and take the old residents' mail!
• Post-Person will be OVERJOYED by my thoughtful music selection and will want to do anything to please me; including TAKING THE OLD RESIDENTS' MAIL

So really...it's a win-win situation, right? And I always have my freezer/coffin for trusty backup.

PS: For anyone who might be on my Potential Hit Grocery List...I'm really too lazy to follow through with that plan. Once I killed you, there's no way I could drag your dead, now-really-heavy body into my freezer. No need to alert the FBI.

A New Favorite: Fun & Lazy Weekends

I am halfway through a Sunday (and sadly, more than halfway through the weekend) and realized that this weekend has been pretty spectacular. I spent several hours in my pajamas yesterday, watching TV. I made bread this morning (proof shown below)...which is one of my favorite relaxing activities. And, just to save me from Hermit-ism, Rachel and I went to Wiseguys to see the show last night.

By the way, for those of you who are looking for something cheap and relatively easy to do on a spontaneous night out, I highly recommend Wiseguys. Rach and I both had a fun time. For as much as it costs to go to the movies, you can go watch a live show - with alcohol! Wiseguys at Trolley Square is also pretty cozy. I think there were 15 people at the show last night. The comics all made the most of it and did a lot to involve the audience. However, we did hear afterward that such conditions are pretty difficult for live performances. But I had a good time and it was nice to get out and have a laugh.

I took some very random photos this morning... I have always wanted to feed my ego and take pictures of my bread, which is where the photo journey started this morning. Then I figured I might as well take a few of my house in non-destruct state. It looks much nicer and is much more comfortable, at least from where I'm sitting. Although, since the pest control has come by, I've found 2 new PESTS.

As a sidenote: That loaf of wheat on the right? Yeah, I'm still not 100% sure that I actually made it... When I checked to make sure it was rising, it had suddenly grown into a real size loaf of bread! Honestly, this has never happened before. Usually, my bread loaves are (delicious) but of a half-ass size. I'm so excited. Maybe my bread knew I would be photographing today and it was on it's best behavior... Something to keep in mind in the future.

Up, Up & Away!

This morning, Rach and I attempted zero gravity yoga. This is a first into what will (hopefully) turn into a series of adventures in NEW things for me!

Moments after walking into the room, I realized that I'd forgotten my most important accessory...camera. Honestly, had I been able to mount a camera to the ceiling, this blog would be a lot funnier.

Zero gravity (aerial) yoga requires one to trust oneself...a lot... For me, I was able to push my boundaries to see that there are things that I thought I couldn't do (hang from the ceiling from a hammock, anyone??) and do them. If you had told me last weekend that I'd be able to wrap my arms in a piece of fabric and do a backflip, I would have told you it would cost you. And look at how wrong I was!

Not sure that aerial yoga is something I need to do all day, everyday - or even again, at all. But it was definitely a great and fun adventure for the day. I still feel it in my abs. Not to mention, it appears that my hands might be permanently formed into The Claw: frozen in time, holding on for dear life to my hammock...

Attack of the Alien Cockroaches!

I've been introduced to yet another aspect of house-living (as opposed to apartment living). Let me start the story with a warning of sorts... When my landlord (future landlord at the time, as this happened before I signed my lease) mentioned that previous tenants had a cockroach problem, I admit I did vomit in my mouth a little. Then, Invincible Jesse took over and decided that I'd never have a cockroach problem! Never had one before and definitely don't see a reason to start now...

This isn't a decision that's entirely in your hands, however. Actually, it's really not in your hands at all. Because WHO would consciously decide to invite the cockroaches over for a party? And when I say cockroach...I mean C.O.C.K.R.O.A.C.H. Gianormous. I really wish now that I'd taken photos as proof. So, when I tell you that these cockroaches were bigger than my head, you'd believe me.

But, instead, when I saw the first one, I didn't run for the camera. I made a mad dash to the store and bought roach traps. First, gut instinct. I have to say that if I was in the situation again, I do the exact same thing. So, I probably never will have photos of these horrific dudes. But they're forever burned in my brain - that's for sure.

Now, not only are they taking up residence at my house...they're requiring me to tear the whole thing apart. Pest control will be here tomorrow. Pest control guidelines = move all furniture to the center of the room and/or away from the baseboards and empty all your cupboards. Okay, I am a single lady and this was like a demolition derby for me.

So, while I never figured on the first photos of my cute house being in destruct state... Allow me to present:

My House

By the way...just in case I haven't made myself clear... I HATE COCKROACHES

Vacation Time! Part I...California

This weekend, our little immediate family (Mom, Dad, brother, sister-in-law, nephew & me) decided to get away to sunny California for a much needed break! While we did get away and I think we all got that well deserved break, we didn't see too much sun.

However, this past weekend was a great time to decompress. It was disappointing to have to come home!

Here are pics from our fun trip. Notice that I seem to have a new subject of choice. :) I'll also make the comment here that traveling with this fun, little boy is what I think it might be like when traveling with a celebrity. Wherever you go, people stop and ooh & aah at the little baby! And you get to hear all sorts of interesting comments.

Night #1 - Feeding a now-happy Cooper. A few minutes before this photo was taken, the lovely ladies across the aisle congratulated me on my new baby......... I hope that after I have kids, I instantly bounce back to my pre-baby self, but doubtful!

Cooper & His Daddy - when he's awake (Cooper, that is - not Tony), his eyes are huge. It's like he has to see everything all at once or he might miss something!

And last, but not least, the star of the weekend. This was our adorable beach house. The whole area is full of houses that I would love to own. At the very least, I'd like to stay in each one at least once to try them out! :)

I am getting on the blog train! I finally realized that there are a lot of people out there who provide me with entertainment by way of their own blogs. Now, it's time for me to contribute too!

My biggest news lately is that I've just moved into a real-life house (after previously living in a tiny, one-bedroom apartment). It's not my house this time (as in, I am still renting). But I love it anyway! I am almost done with about 95% of my unpacking. And I am thinking it might be a good time to post a little tour. Stay tuned!